Stories Of Her..

2008-11-28T18:32:00.002+08:00

Iv'e been thinking and I realised that I'm really stupid.
Its just been another case of infatuation with the oh so totally wrong person.
She ain't my bag of chips,and I feel so slow just realising that now.
I seriously have no clue of what is wrong in this current picture.
Its kinda hard to explain,but I came up with a theory.
We may not be the same type of people,but we do have our similarities.
Oh well then,this just sucks.
I still love you straight girl,like how you say you love me

BLEH!xP

2008-11-17T00:08:00.002+08:00

My heart raced for awhile that day.
I'm supposed to be angry,but I don't know for what reason.
From what I've known,I no longer and am not planning to have those kind of thoughts about you.
Because it's just going to be so pointless and I might just be hurt.
Even now,sometimes I do get hurt because sometimes I just give in to my feelings.
Most of the time I just tried to be cold.
I must be strong.
Strong like the amazon.
It dosen't matter if it sounds corny,cos now everything's just corny to me.
Gosh gimme a break.
I can't always be sticking to one perspective cos from what I've learnt over the months is just so unpredictable.
I should start taking the advice.
The advice that says that I should'nt be putting so much hope in something cos I'll end up like crap.

My heart raced for awhile that day.
And now I'm feeling stupid and some what ashamed.
I'll get through this,soon..

2008-11-10T19:57:00.002+08:00

The rush of hormones,as we felt the gush of youth in our bodies.
It was so wrong,yet felt so right.
It felt as if there was an itch,that was longing to be scratched.
With moist and trembling lips,we came in contact.
As soon as I knew it,the hotness and bittersweet taste filled my mouth.
I felt as if I blew all that was on my mind away.
No feeling that certain people bring you down,and that it was hard to relate and socialise.
This might be running through the heads of some adolescents.
Or maybe its just me.
This adolescent that has no sense of self esteem when it comes to certain things.

"Being thick-skinned is what I'm trying to do",she said.
Hoping that it will give a boost and change her mindset on certain things.
More courageous,more confident.
To make the big mistakes now and to perfect it.
Though words of encouragement are being given and such,
she's still unsure.
Because words can be just a form of manipulation,and that people might just say things just for the sake of it.
It may just be true though sometimes,but you can't get too comfortable with anything that's been given to you.

To care,to let someone know you care,to hear that there's someone caring for you,what does all that exactly mean?
For a situation this thought provoking,maybe it should just be left just the way it is.
That's just part and parcel of growing up.
It's easy to say,but seems kind of hard to be part of the whole actual drama.

ummmm

2008-10-25T11:17:00.001+08:00

Umm ive not been updating cos ive moved!
quirky-kinks.livejournal.com
Soo um yea,will post more later perhaps=D

2008-06-10T21:26:00.002+08:00

Your love,is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that
I've tried and your love is better than ice cream,
everyone here knows how to cry
And it's a long way down,
it's a long way down,
it's a long way down to the place where we started from
Your love,is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that
I've tried and oh love is better than chocolate,
everyone here knows how to fight
And it's a long way down,
it's a long way down,
it's a long way down to the place where we started from.

Ice-cream,by Sarah Mclachlan;
from the movie Better Than Chocolate=D

Singing this makes me happy,you.

2008-06-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

I just dont know where to get the words from.
But I hear the whispers of the wind,
voices from the rain.
Feel it again,I want to feel it again,
a little more.
Do I really want to say it?
Maybe I do.
Maybe I do want to say out how you blow my mind.
I was scared,scared of reaching out.
I still am now,but Im going to go for it.
Im not going to care about what people think anymore.
I feel like Im losing one,
one of something that I call,
a friend.
Everything is slowly falling apart.
But Im sure it'll be alright,
cos Im hoping you'll blow away this weak side of me.

It'll be ok,wont it?

2008-05-31T21:45:00.003+08:00

Moooovieee saturdayy!haha erm i watched August Rush,Sweeney Todd and JUNO!
hahaha Juno's the best,August Rush touched me(musically??=_=")
erm i stopped Sweeney Todd halfway.
Juno Juno Juno!!haha i liked it.eventhough it likes shows about teen pregancy but I dunnoe..its just nice and cute and the songs kinda rock.
And Ellen Page is cute.haha i dunnoe her character's kinda cool.
haha and one cute reaction was when she was like "I dunnoe,Im just losing my faith to humanity!"
hahaha erm ook tts all..

You're just so nice,it broke my heart?
I have a bunny suit and I think I look cute.

2008-05-30T20:01:00.002+08:00

I promised not to anymore.
I don't want to anymore.
I want to erase you.
Even if I cant,I dont want you to be in my head.
I tried very hard but I got myself into a situation,
and now I cant think.
I just want to see you.
Well maybe its true,
Im caught up on you.
But its just the truth that its just empty hopes and dreams.
Did I really promise myself,
or did i just try to deceive myself.
I just want to see you,I really do.

2008-05-28T21:19:00.004+08:00

I really do,I really do need you now.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm just on the verge of breaking down.
I keep telling myself not to cry,but I really didnt know what to do now.
Everything is just all mixed up and jumbled up and I just dont know.
This always has to happen.
I just wanna crawl into my bed and dream.
Thats all I can do.
I really do,I really do want to see you,
because you are my aid.

2008-05-27T20:41:00.004+08:00

The sound of the melodica filled my ears.
It was moving,and I felt that I had to move along with it,
just like how the counter melody follows.
It got me hypnotized.
Just like how you captured my attention.
It mesmerizes me that much,I just don't know what words to use.
Help me,help me forget about all the troubles that I'm soon going to face.
I want to,want to see you,but I promised myself to erase you.
I know,oneday,oneday I will.
I don't care how stupid I feel anymore,
neither will I repeat the stupid things Iv'e done.
But please,I think I really need your aid now,
and I'm wishing your'e reading this.

I still feel rather stupid,but I don't care anymore,
because I always am.

2008-05-25T21:46:00.004+08:00

ok like woah!tt was a long one.haha i didnt know where it came from.duh frm the bottom of my heart?hahah ok im feelin a lil bit random.
but seriously uh situation at hm is like grrr luh.i dunnoe luhhhhh!!
OH YA!IM SUPPOSE 2 BLOG BOUT COLUMBUS PIC!

yala now june hols already,but i just got the pic,THKS 2 my HANNAH MONTANAH!
hahah erm hmm things to say?my face cant be seen and aubrey looks constipated.hahaha erm i guess tts all..
yea..nitenite

2008-05-25T21:09:00.004+08:00

Its been sometime,sometime.
I remembered how stupid I felt for doing all those stupid things.
I just wasted my life without having to have the end product.
Seriously,I just laughed it off.
But it feels lke you're still fresh at the back of my mind.
It just feels like I needed to let the constellations pass,
and reach out for whats waiting for me.
Its a scary world out there,but somehow,in some weird way,
the thought of you made it ok for me.
I know it dosen't make sense,
I know it sounds kind of absurd too.
But thats just how I feel,
and its just selfish to have something you can't have for your own,right?
And thats just how life goes dosen't it.
Everything can't just stay the same as they do.
A wave's bound to come at the unexpected moments.
So I have to carry on against the waves with whatever support I can get.
I know it dosen't make sense,
I know it sounds absurd,
but I do want to see you again.
Until someday,I hope to hear your words.
But what words?

You know,I hate that note,cos it was written for you.

2008-05-24T14:51:00.002+08:00

i hate home.its always been like this.gd things happen and when a bad things comes along and tumbles everything down.
but im nt all the same anymore.
Ive got stronger and i hv to.
just like how i got through the expeditions.at first i laughed when i thought of it.but hey,its kinda the same.i just hv 2 get through this like i did.
soo yea im still gonna CHIONNNNGGG no matter wad.

eventhough im down,i need to bring myself up,
my eyecandy.

2008-05-23T19:19:00.002+08:00

GAHHH DAMN PISSED CAN!i mean im nt pissed bout my results cos i noe its kinda my fault.but i mean these few days,shes kinda acting weird again and i kinda predict shes gonna be her old self soon.and like y does she hv 2 parrot out wads commented about me.and after tt she says things that dosent hv any relations 2 school work!and she dosent even like noe luhh..i dunnoe im just soo ticked off.
but anyways im tryin nt 2 think bout tt and just remember bout my earlier plans,TO CHIONG DO HMWORK AND STUDYYYY!!haha i wanna do reading tooo..thks 2 the kawaii group CHATMONCHY!!im able 2 carry on and enjoy!weee!
oh and i heard tt she is cmin back.haha i dunnoe,i wanna see her but i dont!i mean i dunnoe.hahaha.

2008-05-15T20:42:00.003+08:00

I felt like I really had a bad bad screw up.
Something was screwed up somewhere,eventhough I covered it with a perfect act.
But it all sounds so cliched,so I'm throwing it away.
Its just selfish to want something that you can't have,for your own.
Nothing even happened,but you can have you back.
Now,I just want me back.
I lost myself,and I need to find me back.
I'm taking my wings outside,cos I can't fly them in here.
What I had was a broken mirror.
But now,it's getting clearer.

2008-05-15T20:15:00.002+08:00

GAH.i feel so tired.i dunnoe y but i just wanna sleep the day away.
i feel kinda demoralised,i did quite badly fer the midyears.
but im still trying 2 hang on strong,just like how i did during the hike.
im gonna unleash whats yet to be unleashed of me.
hahah ok im jus being random again,but im serious man!!u noe its always easy 2 slack but nvr easy 2 get back on track again.it really takes up alot of me.i hv 2 be committed and be strong.
smtimes fer me 2 noe and the best place 2 start is during band!(of all places=_=" GAH!)
but yea im gonna start frm there luh..

2008-05-11T19:53:00.003+08:00

I saw you,a vision of you.
I was too late to catch a glimpse of you.
Missing you,I cried.
I didn't really know why I did.
My eyes just felt a sting and my cheeks felt the cold moistened my cheeks.
I know it sounds absurd.
Maybe it's just me,being foolish and naive.
I felt shattered.
But then I saw you again,your calm hard face.
I wish that it could be,but it would just be foolish,naive and selfish,
to want what you can't have for your own.
Maybe it's just me,but I do wish that we would get to talk.
Each time I try to make an attempt,I cower away in fear and himiliation.
I just have nothing to say in this bleak situation.
But until someday,I'll be waiting to hear your words.

I hate that note,because it was written for you.

2008-05-10T15:17:00.004+08:00

COLUMBUS READY!COLUMBUS PULL!!
yeap im back frm OBS and it rocked my fairfield socks off!!
haha its the best camp ive had in fairfield so far luh..
best part is,we were all mixed up frm different classes.eventhough like some of em already knew each other,we still didnt know each other tt well.
haha when we thought we wld be dead cos we dont seem 2 get along,we ended up being the "highest" group 2 jump and scream and sing and giving each other names and walking arnd with the nametags.
there were 7 girls 8 boys i think.lets see
The girls-
Cherilyn
Phoebe
Jacquelin
Olivia
Suan Fong
Shoo wen
ME!
The guys-
Aubrey
Ben
Caleb
Clinton
Dylan
Joshua
Maverick
Ying yang(dunnoe how 2 spell>.<)
The cute instructor-
Cindy!(looks like ng may gay!!)

Yea man she really does,just tt she smiles more and says "columbus look at your cute cindy here!*GRINS*"
haha soo anyway it was fun and tiring at the same time.because of the support tt we gave each other,we were able to make it through.
we kayaked for arnd 14km and hiked fer 9 hours cos we stopped fer a break quite alot of times.but we made it we made it we made it!!i cant belive i made it.
erm ok soo tts all fer now will write more.ciao!

Missing you,I cried.

2008-05-04T18:03:00.002+08:00

Caressed my soul that's what you did.
You keep appearing in dreams,I just don't know why.
I just don't have the strength to let you know.
My heart rushes when you turn.
Maybe it's just me.
But I like the way you brush your hair,
and I like those stylish clothes you wear,
and I can see you way over there.
For now,it's another night tongue tied,
and waiting for an answer.

Ahhhh 2morow is OBS!!5 days of hell?hahaha
i dun feel like goin can??hmm soo erm yea tts all fer now,will write in again on sat?haha and yea ive started on my compilation and you noe,
i tend 2 get inspiration frm weirdest places.haha tata!

If my life was a storybook,we'd meet again and talk oneday.

2008-05-04T00:09:00.004+08:00

Wow 1 more day 2 OBS!!i hope my period will subside like it always does.=D
soo anyway ive roughly packed my stuff and yea i think im ready.
but im still nt ready about the "getting over" process.I also dunnoe y i felt(still feeling)sad..anyway in dedication,im gonna do a compilation fer her.its the only way i can put my literary skills and expressiveness in??hahaha crap.i think what i write is crap.tts y i call it poetic crap.but heck its fer my own use.=P
erm ok tts all..

My cheeks felt the cold razorblades run down.
Why,i wondered.
All the words we never say,are just kept inside.
I took the chance.
Took the chance of letting you know.
And there's no sense in playing games,
as now my head tries to shake away all the pain.
And now its over,its over,why is it over?
Why now,I wish I could take it back?
I tend to cower back eventhough I took a brave and stupid step forward.
But now its over,its over,already over.
I just wanna crawl into bed and throw away all the things,but I won't let it die.
For now,I know eventhough when I'm falling apart,you'll appear to put me back in place.

I wish that I could take it back.

2008-05-02T20:02:00.002+08:00

Fridayyyyyyy!!!
monday is OBS!!!yayyy!!
actually i dunnoe whether 2 feel excited or nt la,cos yea its like during my "monthly bestfriend" time..grrr.
at least it started 2 day.haha.sooo erm yea another poetic crap below.
sooo erm i guess 2day's the last la..hahaha just now damn funny during eng class.Pei,Soh,Kuek help me folded the hearts den folded damn alot ok,like occupied the whole table.hahahhaa after cut all the hearts,we ended up with filling half a packet.THANKS GUYS!hahaha
and Pei,just now was scary la k,she walk past and saw!!ahahahaha 2day walk past alot of time(2day's the most)hahahhha yala damn high ahhahahaha
im hearing UNGU!right now..haha oso dunnoe y tryna get into the moodddd

2008-05-02T19:28:00.003+08:00

I never saw your smile,
till it was time to go away.
And it's just too late.
Too late for what?
I have just realised how naive I can get.
But your presence has given me that inspiration.
It has taught me to be brave,no matter where I'll go.
I'll just close my eyes,just close them,when mr D swings by.
I just know that it will come,but I just drowned in my own ego and naivety.
Without realisation,you(unknown) has set me(the unknown) free.

We've barely met and still I cross the street to your door.
Your'e my eyecandy.

2008-04-29T19:42:00.002+08:00

OK i think my green fever is coming back>.<
haha OBS is coming!!!so excited?so scared!so missing her...
WTH???
2days counter:2
okok enough enough!!grrr!!
im suppose 2 study bu i dunnoe..2morow is test or exam!!its suppose 2 be on friday!!!
muahaha i bought mt camp things already[random]
sooo anyway i finally found a song frm the movie "SAVING FACE"
its such a nice movie kkkk...hahaahha.

Love.Love is strange,lot of people,take it for a game.

2008-04-27T19:58:00.002+08:00

My heart skips a beat when I think about it.
I've tried to just not think of it,but,
it just keeps coming back.
I just can't put how and what I'm feeling anymore.
But,I've never felt something like this towards someone before.
I've done something I've never should've done.
But I don't know what it is going to equal to
if I just stare at that equation.
I decided to solve it,but I still can't get the answer.
And now,I don't wish to.

Trippin up on my tongue

2008-04-27T19:31:00.002+08:00

Haha ok im in love with green againnn...=DD
yesterday was the sentosa trip!!hahah it was fun(and nobody even came 2 us 2 check their answers!)
Me,di and yumni were supposed 2 be like station masters but we ended up a lying down on the deck chairs while di,or B was playin with the sand.
Then we went up 2 the bridge point cos eka and farwin had 2 go buy food.
TT was where B saw TEMPURUNG!!!(coconut shells)
cos she saw this ang moh lady wearin bikini den her boobs were kinda small and B jus screamed TEMPURUNG!!hahahaha and we cant stop laughin.
Wanted 2 like take photos,but i was like enjoying too much and was like feeling tired soo i forgot =P.
Then wen we came back school cikgu took the sec3's fer icecream!!!mmmmyumyum!and it was also fer the bday gal!
yea den went home.
AHHHH 2morow's monday!!shit!i dunnoe wads gonna happen.i shldnt think about it,but im still thinkin of her!grrr yyyy??
lets just wait and see...

Your'e my eyecandy.

2008-04-26T00:28:00.002+08:00

finalyy..hahaha im lazy 2 update things soo yea things are kinda all over the place..
rite now,i really feel freaked!!haha.Ive done smthing ive nvr shldve done.
I feel kinda stoopid.hmm..well whats been done been done..i really wonder wad'll happen next.haha anyways we'll be hvin like a so called amazing race at sentosa!and aft tt go eat ice cream!!mmmm!

I cant explain it,I just cant.
Ive never felt this way towards anybody before.
A heart each day,appearing,out of nowhere.
I saw you looking around,trying to find an answer.
I feel scared.Scared because I cant really tell your reaction.
My lungs swelled as that event took place.
I was distracted,pulled away.
I kept telling myself to be strong,
because it was I who made the choice.
Even now I think of it,I made a choice of my own eventhough possible circumstances have been thrown to my face.

2008-04-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

Hello,I dunnoe just wth is wrong with me 2day.
Im getting sick and tired of my sec sch life.I feel like theres nth,no point.OFCOURSE IM NOT TALKIN BOUT STUDIES.man,tt cant be helped too..Im really trying hard,but its not the time 2 see the production.Im gonna keep on going!"gogo yoshino!"haaha eventhough my name is nt yoshino,i'll try 2 remember wad are the things tt drive me 2 work!!
I mean Im nt gonna care anymore la..
ok soo some ppl think tt saying things for the sake of saying it,helps a person.In my opinion ur just hurting tt peron further ok.like who are u 2 try and say smthing u dun even really know wad it feels like.i dunnoe i just felt i needed 2 get this out cos im really sorta like damn pissed off.

Sometimes I wonder,
Why do I feel this way.
I feel so stupid knowing that everything is going to turn out alright?
Maybe it will,maybe it wouldnt.
Sometimes Id rather just not face reality,and sleep through.
But for how long?This cant go on.
I just gotta show the world how Id turn out great,
even under these kinds of circumstances.
~What dont kill you make you stronger~

2008-04-13T19:02:00.002+08:00

It was just a dream,
and I walked out of it.
I had to,because at this point of my life,I really need to face reality.
You left me breathless,passing me.
For some reason,you just seem so familiar to me.
But no,you don't know me.
If my life was a storybook,we'd meet on the first page.
I need to be strong,and for some reason,your face helps me realise the truth.

Damn random la 2dayy..hhaha erm yea i keep hvin those dreamsssss
badbadbad...hahaha theres school 2morowand i think we'll be buskin 2morow..i dunnoe.somehow i just hope tt she'll swing by the canteen b4 she leaves....

2008-04-12T23:13:00.006+08:00

Theres a buzzing sound in my head.
It goes bzzz wang wang zwang.
Maybe its those tangles that slowly unwind.
Its only for awhile,just bear with it,with that,
I shall get some sleep.
Everytime I do,I start seeing that face.
That makes the twines gone in my head.
It just dosent make any sense,to you,or to me either,
why Im feeling this way.
Im facing reality that you do not me,but when will I ever learn,
Im just glad that those twines are able to untangle.

haha yay typecast!!woo!!salutes mann.
Im still an emo kid yea.haha.
hahaha i found out the owner of the car I like!!haha VW BEETLE!!
heeheeheeheeheeheehee
heeheeheeheeheehee
heeheeheehee
heeheehee
heehee
hee
=_="

2008-04-12T18:08:00.003+08:00

TIIIRRREEDDD.
hahaha erm hmm dunnoe wad 2 say yet,soo here are some pics!!

hmm er yea maybe i'll write in again ltr...

Imma be ok,it will all get better in time.
Why am I feeling this way again?
Im unknown,and you are not that known to me,
but Im gonna smile cos I deserve to.

2008-04-05T21:58:00.003+08:00

Hyped up,so hyped up.
For a reason Im not really sure of.
"Its the final countdown!"we were singing,
and I saw you,right there,across from me,
standing there smiling.
I wasnt sure if youre looking my way cos you had those cool shades on,
with your hair tied back.
It was hot.
The weather I mean,
as we toasted note to note.
But then,you disappeared,
to where I do not know.
The crowd was hyped up and I couldnt find you no matter how hard I tried.
Maybe you are just on the other side,
just like where I am,
still unoticed.

Sian..tryna do project,but studyin fer F&N and ended up comin up with this!hahaha damn gay i noee...fer some reason I find tt shes like become one of those ppl who i dun have the mood to entertain?some ppl say shes changed,and I kinda think so too.
Sooo anyway yesterday was fun!wake up early in the mornin,suppose 2 go breakfast!but then...SOH and KUEK went 2 breakfast on they're own!hahah i tot they gonna die but they made it!!yahooo!!hahaaha i officially cannot deal with pri 5 kids.
Den me and eka's song came out!!ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!hahahahaha damn fun den we started singing den tt hot music teacher was like standing there smiling!hahahah damn high,as VL likes 2 say it=D
sooo erm yea tts about it

2008-04-03T16:58:00.002+08:00

Today.
What is in store for me I wondered.
Everyday is a brand new start for me
It was all sunny but it started to rain.
I felt the rain drops slowly drizzling on me.
I stood there to feel it pour on me.
I thought:
"Hey,today is another day.Another different day.When its different,it dosent make you a square person.I'm just like the wind and thunder,going on strong and loud."
Tomorrow.
What is in store for me?
Well what I know to keep on going all the way is the best for me.

I thought tt was one of my best=D
hahaha anyway 2day was ok,eka got a haircut!!hahaha its nice but like ppl say look like mine!haha nola..i mean if look like mine oso wads mine is still mine rite?haha.
U noe just now i really wasted my time and energy,if ive had known,i shldve stayed in school or go home and rest since i feel kinda sick and i hv this big headache.But cos i didnt like meet her for smtime i decided 2 meet up.but it sorta like ended up differently.

Should I give up,or should I just keep chasing pavements,even if it leads no where?
Or would it be a waste,even if I knew my place,should I leave it there?
I just dont really know you no more,you know?

2008-03-31T22:28:00.002+08:00

GAH.ya noe life is like a sope,and now its like the draggy parts of some sort.
i cant believe this myself but im hating my life.These few days i get damn frustrated wen smthings up.I really dunnoe wad goin on..i feel apart of me is missing,torn apart.
i really dunnoe wad 2 say and do anymore.

2008-03-29T11:26:00.002+08:00

Life is such a let down,
you just expect too much out of it.
When something just doesn't happen,
you feel like everything is about to go down with you.
But truth is,what don't kill you make you stronger.
So with this,atashiwa tomodachi,
I do not care anymore.

I feel tired.I feel demoralised.I just don't know what 2 feel anymore.Its always been like that.Sometimes I really dont feel like facing up2 reality.
im really so sick so sick so sick and i hate you.
hahaha ok that was from tokyo jihen

2008-03-27T21:20:00.002+08:00

YAY just finished malay blog.hahaha everyday have 2 write man..but its for my own good ar..
hmm 2day nearly picked a fight ok..grr ok dun wanna talk about it...
and 2day suppose 2 meet FIT but she didnt like reply my msg and calls,soo i went HOME!
gay la..ok erm tts it i guess..
and 2morow will be our 1st wanked out practice in the loo!!hahaha wad a place 2 practice!

2008-03-25T21:24:00.002+08:00

2day was gay.gaygaygaygaygay.oh wad happened?OH YA.
it was kinda boring 2day,untill I cant even remember what really happened at school.After school went 2 meet FIIIIIIT AND BEVVVVV.=D
went kfc,and BEV treated!aww ur such a sweet girl,thank you you=D
Den we played with the creatables candyy thing..hahah kissykissy muak muak..
and i NEARLY..nehmind..scared she FREAKED! out.=D
i was thinkin of doin MEG & DIA fer the talentquest thing..i mean if we are still doing it..my nose is damn stuck and i sing kinda weird..hahahha
cant wait fer the class buskin thing!my CAJON!!the magical box!!wootz!!
and that jamming session with VERA LAU and her ROLEMODEL!hahaha
zzzz

2008-03-21T18:39:00.002+08:00

EEUUGHH i feel sick..
better then yesterday though,i had this huge headache.and just now when i blew my nose,there was abit of blood on my mucus.eee.haha i remembered what a cajon is!haha i hope i'll be playin it during our class fundraising.i really want to..

This rainy evening,I wish I had you by my side.Weird though,just who are you?
I really do not know,but this "warm" feeling serves as something that can make me feel better.
I really feel sick and tired,
thank goodness mostly physically.
Emotionally,I feel that I have to go for whatever comes in my way.
I have to face it,for me to break out of this shell.
I wish that at this time,
I could go.
Just go somewhere of that I do not know.
I want to be in your embrace,but when i do,
I'm scared that I would not be able to let go.

OOO nt bad nt bad..haha hmm need more bks..heehee=D
so sick..D=

2008-03-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

Jumble mumble fundamentals.
What the hell am I feeling,
man I need ideation.
I wish there was some kind of spreading mindmap that I could paste it all on.
Wait,it already exists,here,
in what I thought was an empty shell.
Truth is,I feel my emotions running around.
Not wildly,but randomly.

HAHA.man when will i stop this?its like creating more rubbish?
NO!Seriously i dunnoe waads into me rite now.I really cant explain it.Or maybe dun want to.GRRRR.
hahha just now,i was napping and i had "a weird dream" again.
this time,was like walkin home,then i saw a lady had dropped her groceries.soo i helped her and smhow ended up goin her hs..
den dunnoe la it was damn gay.....
AHHHHH 2morow's the concert yo!hahaha im hvin butterflies=)

Don't tear me down,for all I need.
Make my heart a better place,give me something I can believe.
Don't tear me down,I'm far from the door now,
I'll let it go.
Make it fade away,don't break me down.
Save me from my fears...

2008-03-12T22:47:00.002+08:00

HAHA 2day i went out with my bro again..do my IC!!!
before tt we went far east to eat.then went 2 cut hair!!hahaha.
i know i just trimmed my hair,now i hv spiky hair again..i think its ok..
And now,Im like folding stars.And i dun hv paper.sian=_="
Its a package that comes with a daisy,its for a surprise on saturday..
Ya know wad,I dun care about anythin la..i just wanted 2 give this 2 her and surprise her?haha.i know she wont be touched by it,but at least i know i did smthing..
I feel as bad now tryna avoid her and stuff..I shld just face up 2 reality.okok hmm im hvin inspiration la..

I sit here in this solitary moment.
At that point,I just don't know why I felt like a part of me was being torn apart.
But after awhile,I realised that life is'nt about getting what you want.
At that point,I realised that I should'nt cower myself away.
I should just face up to it.
At that point,I felt contented just being there with the always laughing,smiling figure..

HMMM okla er tts all..
actually no point doin wad i just did just now!haha paiseh=_=

2008-03-11T21:42:00.004+08:00

I do not know where it is right now,
and I do not know where am I right now.
Weird thing is,I don't feel lost at all.
Its like I've always felt this way.
I don't feel that its bad,or its making me sad.
Or is it?See,I prefer to be lost rather than contemplate.
I'm just a fallen star,that gets picked up and drifts away.
I'm happy being drifted away,I'm happy that I get lost,
but when I start to sink,don't pull me down further.
Just pick me up,let me drift,
and get lost.

EHH not bad..improving improving...haha need 2 read more poetry and stuff la.Im developing an intrest in poetry?=O
And 2 LFB,dont be sorry la ok..im just not feeling so erm,me?

2008-03-11T21:32:00.002+08:00

HOOOIIII 5 MORE DAYS NEH!!
DUBDUB DUBDUB DDDDDDDDDUUUUUBBBBBB.
haha ok forget that.Anyways yesterday went out with Shan.=)heehee finally?
haha ok la i dun really wanna go into it now..makes me feel..hmm..i dunnoe>.<
haha 2day me and my bro went for busride adventoirs!we went all the way 2 Changi Airport just 2 eat BK.
erm ok thats all?haha wait i post again.

2008-03-09T16:51:00.002+08:00

Brr so cold.i wish i had someone 2 hug me..HAHA.
anyways 2morow ive got a date with her.muahahaha yay.
im like findin info on rivers fer geog hmwork and now im findin movies 2 watch haha.
ANOTHER 7 MORE DAYS!!y is my heart beating so fast everytime i listen 2 kaze no mai??
At least my heart dosent beat so fast wen i think of her.
GAH.

2008-03-07T21:21:00.002+08:00

THE HOLS ARE HERE!!yea man!eventhough its only 1 week with alot of hmwork,at least its smthing.=D
soo anyway..
i got my cancelled date back on monday?hahaha no art museum.

fer some reason,i really felt that i needed 2 get this off my chest.
well,2day rite,her bf joined band,yet again la.so im like OH THANK GOD!!cos i heard he pro la.den like at least now our section got 3 ppl.and just now i was like alone cos she had detention.haha.but at the back of my head rite,im like,im gonna be a loner yet again!haha im used 2 it in band la.always like tt one.
den she came.ok so im like wadever as always.da da da den wen start playin,she was like,i cant hear uuu.fine la i play louder.den she took her pencil and wrote on my sheet,i know u can do it=D.
WTH.haha i cant explain the feelin at tt time.
But BOTTOMLINE ISS....i don't like her as in LIKE ya noe wad im sayin..
like,okla like her as a friend.anyway if i liked her in tt kind of LIKE,shes just not my bag of chips hun.like seriously.
ok erm tts all fer 2nite..i'll post more soon.
9 more days!!!MacRitchie reservoir!!OMGGGG.

2008-02-26T21:21:00.002+08:00

Cough cough.I cant stop coughing.
I suddenly feel a little bit motivated.ffffffisssh.
anyway im watchin SIMOUN!FINALLY FOUND IT!haha.
I still wanna go out with her.I just dunnoe y.haha but im moving on la.moving on...haiya stop it sak.
ive decided that its time 2 buck up.but im scared.im scared tt i'll go back 2 my old ways.I wish whoever you are is here.haha.
I can do iiiittt!haha friends supporting oso can la.=DDD

2008-02-25T20:01:00.002+08:00

Oh man,my throat hurts!I think my tonsils are swolllen now..
it got worse after band and i cldnt like stop coughing.Haha nvm all fer NBC.i really gotta buck up.And i REALLY REALLY wanna go JAPAN!!!I think my hopes are about 2 get down la..cant pay.But wth im still gonna practice!and im gonna study now too!haha i dunnoe wads gotten into me.anyway this song has been stuck inside my head..haha kini ku terbang,melayang..

Di sini dibatas rindu
Mencoba menegakkan langkahku
Mencari rasa yang hilang bersamamu
*Dan kuberanikan diri
berlari mengejar bayanganmu yang datang menghantui setiap malamku terhempas tubuhku di memeluk tubuhmu tercerai mimpi mimpi yang memasung langkahku
reff:kini ku terbang melayang mencoba kepakkan sayapku
berharap ku akan temukan dirimu untukku
terbang melayang menyusuri ruang cinta
kuberharap ku akan temukan dirimu untukku

Haha i cant sing now la...u shld thank my hurting throat..=D

2008-02-24T21:18:00.002+08:00

Hah.You know wad?maybe it really just isnt meant to be..Right now,I'll just go with the flow..And recently,ive had the weird dreams again..always when this happens,dejavu is gonna strike!ahh!

Every night I go to sleep,I dream of you.
Each time I wake up though,I keep wondering who you are.
At times,I don't really care,because the feeling makes me feel happy.
It just feels so warm all snuggled up in your embrace.
As I wished time could've lasted longer,
i'm being awakened by the sound of my alarm.
I try to get on with life,as of all I know,you are just an image in my imagination that I will never get.
~and the wind blows....
WTH?=_="

2008-02-24T19:49:00.003+08:00

OH,im startin 2 feel better.haha but im still coughin and hvin such such random headaches.I feel scared at times.
Anyways 2day went 2 Mok's nieces party.But b4 tt i was like wasting time walkin arnd Chinatown and Clark quay.I took a bus frm Aljunied den got off smwhere arnd Chinatown.I didnt really care where I walked.I just followed where my feet took me.
I know it sounds crazy,like why on earth would you wanna walk arnd soo far alone?hmm i dunnoe,i like it.haha and music takes you anywhere.I wanted 2 buy crossaints from Central but the shop havent open yet so i went 2 the japanese supermarket instead.I bought burger biscuits and apple juice!nice apple juice..den i went Cyt's house and 2 Mok's house.
I felt like takin pics...
Travelling alone..

YUM..

Ice cold juice..

2008-02-20T18:39:00.002+08:00

Oh man..i woke up on monday,SICK.haha throat inflamation=fever=headaches.
I cldnt like talk properly until like after recess yesterday..
im like still feelin emo at times la..kk dun wanna talk about it.
I wanna join AIKIDO!no,KENDO!!grr haha dring the hols i had plans 2 join silat but at last i spent my time workin and goin out..haha cannot take it!i wanna join a martial arts!!I just wanna lose it.and maybe learn self dicipline?haha i tink its the wrong spelling.X)
haha k im gonna go rest..

hello there,I'd like to get to know you better.If you start to get annoyed by me,we could just stop here.=D

Secondhand serenade influences/inspires me=D

2008-02-16T23:05:00.003+08:00

OOO,i suddenly wrote smthing just now...
Wind blew on my face.
I just wanted to be there,
in an embrace.
Whoever you are,
what's your fantasy?
Whoever you are,
I'm tired of being all alone,
in this solitary moment.
I like dancing in the wind,just
flowing at a constant speed.
Forgetting the clich'ed situations,I just
wanna fall asleep,right here,
with whoever you are.

2008-02-16T22:52:00.002+08:00

Haha ok my blog's back 2 normal.
2day was a depressing day yet again la..Suppose 2 go out den until now i still dont get any calls.damnit la.
yesterday was my birthday!a depressing one too..
I got prezzies frm Eka,Emily,Yupei and Keren!
Eka's card was the best ever la.it says,
"SEXY!What do u call 2 women in ur bed begging u 2 hv sex with em?....*opens up*...A HALLUCINATION!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
Peipei oso give me card.PETERJOHN!haha.and she gave me a miniature version of the yellow "cleaning in progress" thing.but it says cos im the boss tts y!damn cute.
Emily gave me a strawberry!!i hug it when I go 2 sleep.>.<
Keren wasss soooo sooo sweet.she made smthing fer me!!Its so nice la,i keep looin at it like gay.Yupei say one.I cant stop lookin at it.its nice.
Frm the rest,I got their wishes..gd enough la.
To me,just hanging out with peeps is the best present fer me.THKS FIT,BEV AND AFIQ for tt gift on vday!!thks fer the laughs and burps!haha.

Sian,She nvr even wish me..=(

2008-02-15T22:27:00.002+08:00

Hello,I like you.
I just don't know why.
Maybe we could get to know each other more.
Each time I try,I feel like falling on the floor.
I just don't know why.
But lets take things slow.
I just wanna get to know you more,
For I,am just an unknown soul.

Haha ok i dunnoe what the hell was tt la ok.

2008-02-12T21:35:00.000+08:00

OMG noo,I hope its not happenin again...It always has to happen around this time..Its gonna be my birthday damnit!!Can u at least gimme a break??grrrr i dun even know whats stressing her up so much..Im gonna emo,but Im definately not going back to my bad side..Ive gotten over it..I have to.
Sometimes when I laugh or smile,I dunnoe whether Im really doing it.heh.I dun even know wad im talkin about now.Ok maybe I can emo again but I'll smile.??waaaad???
ok i need some sleeeeep.and I did homework!!hahaha.

2008-02-09T16:47:00.000+08:00

Hello,
I'm feeling very emo again.Ive tried,but now,its taking over me,yet again..
Not in a very bad way like last time though..haha yay.I think that its contagious,just hearing to songs..You wanna know why I say its contagious?Cos sometimes I can just relate myself to the song.It makes sense to me.Maybe thats why.
haha anyway,2morow is my cousin's wedding.SIAN...I'll like emo one corner la..I mean I dont talk to nobody..dunnnoe why but I just dont....OH YA,here are the class deco pics!And yes im wearing pink.They made me,soo must me sporting la!haha.

haha ok tts all...

2008-02-08T20:18:00.000+08:00

Hello!!haha I know its been awhile since i updated la...
lazy la...hehe anyways,Ive been havin bad bad headaches.and smtimes i feel scared,cos smtimes it feels lie smthin is tryin 2 come out from my head ok.haha.
And during class deco preparation,i talked 2 A la.like wth.1st time!haha.
okla tts all fer now la.OH,7 more days 2 moi birthday!!hahaha thanks 2 Smickles,I'm counting down!=D

2008-01-06T15:11:00.000+08:00

Woo 2008,the start of skooooll laaa...
haiz..depressing?i dunnoe..im nt a consistant person ok..
hey and 2008 and im still missing her lorrrrrrr...STOOOOPID SAK..
haha ok this song has been out fer quite smtime now but im gonna put it anyways..
excuse me fer the gayness..haha LA LA LA LALALA..Its-u mai soul-u!

2007-12-31T18:39:00.000+08:00

OK SHIT.and i meant that LITERALLY.
I was like reading smone's blog about this vid called 2 girls 1 cup.
ok soo wen i read the title it sounds soo,porno?haha anyways i was rite.
But this porno is NARLY DUDE!There were like 2 girls makin out(ok..tts nice..)and then suddenly 1 of em just starts pissing and they like licked and ate it and like puked it out!!LIKE OMGGGGGGGGGG...
See,when U see ppl warning bout this vid,U shld jst listen 2 em..But hey CURIOSITY got the better of me!!soo any ways,if u,i mean ur curiosity is telling u 2 check it out,go rite ahead..just stand by a bag or smthin,and dun eat anything alrite,especially choc ice cream..
haha like the guy in a compilation of reactions when the vid was viewed..:p

2007-12-31T18:27:00.000+08:00

OO wow soo fast and it's already new year's eve!Aww man school's starting in 1 more day!I dun want this moment 2 end..haha but hey,I need 2 face up 2 life's truths and challenges la...cant just stay in 1 spot rite??haha.anyways,i think 2008 might just be and intersting year for me.I just hv the feeling it will be..and guess wad?Its the 2nd/3rd year..
Dunnoe whether 2 say SIAN or WOW..
theres the gd and the bad..
soo yea gtg..HAPPY NEW YEAR=D

2007-12-30T01:51:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG its already the 30th!!!How time flies!
One minute im like excited(as in WOOHOO) But the next I'll be like "IM SCARED OF THE FUTURE".But yea i'll go back to WOOHOO!
Oh gosh im just talkin crap la..
Im missing her!SHIT LA!!!no gd no gd......
Its like she comes into my dreams..for goodness sake,its nt always i get dreams like tt yo!
grrr aiyo den she listen pumpkin oso..now tt song remind me of her la SHIT!haha.
den yesterday n 2day see her face..waliao..it made me feel so happy..her (cute) blur face make me smile lor.....I oso dunnoeeee it just makes me smile GRRRRRR
kk goin off..

2007-12-22T00:49:00.000+08:00

2day went out with my sis and mum..2day was my dreadful mood soo yea..
And wad cld get worse?wen i thought my phone was ok,it's busted again!SHHHIIIIIIT!I dunnoe whether can repair nt la...if hv 2 repair,i might hv 2 sacrifice a new school bag and shoes..
and my hopes were high ok..=(haizzz and im starting my EMO spree again.Turns out tt i cant get away fro the EMOness la...haha soo miserable?DUNNOE LA HUH..

~Am I still missing her?~
Just ignore me and I'll thank you for that=p

2007-12-18T19:05:00.000+08:00

Haizzzz for some reason i find 2day boring.Didnt really do anything much.Went down,meet Fit,hung out.Yesterday went out with Shasha to return uni..Then see Her face again..GRRR i wish i cld stop it.SOON it will la.I just know.:D
Haha soo anyway rite,we went suntec den went to buy Auntie Anne's[MMMMM].So I was like lining up den the guy behind the counter was like,"Hi sir.."I was like WAAAAD??I mean like alot of ppl say I look like a guy and call me a butch.:O Yasmin is a BUNGG???
haha i mean i dun really feel like im a bung cos my hair's like long already ma..den i dont wear binding waaaad..Haiyo..den Fit said my hair IS long but its like guy long..Like wth??
ahh wadever la..
Haha I cant believe I bought girls boxers for a x'mas present..=p

2007-12-17T02:32:00.000+08:00

MAMA IM SOO TIRED....haha but hey 2day's my last day of work man!Yeap im done for the year,but i'll keep goin on.This is my fundraising for the band trip 2 JAPAN next year!!!JAPAN!!!JAPAN!!JAPAN LA!!!!Its a dream come true man.
Then get to see all those cute girls..OOOOO KAWAII NEHH!!!AHHH SHKIDESU!
soo cute,i cant take it.Mama,can I get a Japanese girlfriend??Haha aiyo den i hv 2 start learning my music lor..tsktsktsk,they're askin for certs,and i dont even own a grade 1 la.......soo waaaaaaaaaad man..haha kk im gonna/gotta listen 2 my jap podcasts,since i didnt sign up fer classes,i can still learn through anime,jdramas,jmovies,aiya anyway la soo long i can speak better japanese neh..
HAIHAI!im sleepy,
oyesemi!Ano,atashi daisuki neh.DAISUKI!!BAKA!neh..honto ni BAKA!GRRR

2007-12-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

Phew,finally changed the blogskin=D
haha i'll add in photos and songs soon.Looks kinda mixed up though.I dunnoe whats been with me these few days.Maybe I really am falling for her.But its just so,I dunnoe,weird?awkward?Since its my last day 2morow,can i just like hv a hug and kiss her or smthing?I know it sounds wrong but yea,I wanna do tt ok.grrrr.Hey from what I heard,she is/can be quite horny eh.I just dunnoe what/how her reaction will be.BUT,i wanna find out.Gosh maybe i'll just wait for a moment,kiss her on her cheeks and run off?hahaha weird weird weird.
hmm,
your glance,is,seducive??
MIN!,U are goin cr-azyyy!;)Oyesemi,aishteru neh...BAKA!

2007-12-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

Haha ok im sick of this blogskin..
1 more day of my workin experience and im done for the year.heh but i'll start workin again..hmm maybe during the june hols or smthing.And im like hvin that feeling again.Y cant i like ust stop missing ppl??and sheesh y are ppl getting so easily upset now?its like a moodswing spree goin on man..
Hahaha and i know its still early but ive already started thinkin bout my new year's resolutions>.<".I dunnoe maybe my workin experience made me think.and im currently goin through math tuition!(finally).I NEED the extra help:p

And I Miss Your ginger Hair, And The Way You Like To Dress..
Why don't you come on over Valerie..

~Can I just stop thinking about you?~

2007-12-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

YELLOW YELLOW..its been awhile now..
as days go by,i feel the gush of anxiety rushing through my veins.
You know,when ur starting 2 fall in love with the thing that ur doin,u just cant like handle it(at first)when you hv 2 let go..and the best parts of it are all like scattered..but hey i can still try and get hold of it while i still can..
OMG SOO EMO,dun mind me,PMS.=p
Hmm anyways now,im gonna start video journalling la,soo i can sill embrace the moments anytime??
hahaha ciaoo

2007-11-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

YOhoho,its been sometime since i went on and updated my stuff.Neh com's nt always home,and now im workin!hahaha yes im a kitchen staff at Capitol building's Longjohn Silver's>.<
soo tired and dunnoe wad 2 say la,soo hmm come disturb me la>.<

2007-10-20T20:08:00.000+08:00

YOOOO kk im just hvin a random thought that i just felt that it needed 2 be out.:p

I want a cellist girlfriend.
I want to hear a beautiful solo,that will be able to give me that tingling sensation.
I want to see her sitting position,together with how she draws her bow.
Well for the record,I may not know anything about playing the cello.
But I do wish to learn and experience for myself,the feeling,the emotion,the...

OK NOW,i dunnoe what 2 say.Its just so unexplainable ok.UNEXPLAINABLE!!
excuse me fer my randomness>.<

2007-10-19T20:06:00.000+08:00

Phew,the exams are ova yo!haha but the results are nt tt satisfying..i can do better k.ahh i was soo worried tt i cant be promoted!FISH!
and i got caught fer my hair,so i went for a haircut.And even after the haircut,i still got caught!I still dont quite understand why ok.GRRRRR!!
and even though the laptop's back 2 normal,I wont really be using it most of the time now..haizzz

2007-10-08T16:45:00.000+08:00

Haaa..Math paper 1 today..Its confirmed tt im gonna die in a few days.PLUS;My laptop cant charge!The metal thing inside the charging hole came out.Actually can still charge la,den after my bro use until teh batt flat cannot charge already!!gonna send fer repair later..

2007-10-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

Hai hai,its been sometime since I last updated my stuff..
HAIKH!2morow is the 1st paper of the EOY's!!
Im kinda panicking,but Im able 2 stay calm(at least for now>.<)...I've done my revision,but i dont think ive really given in my best yet..still going on though..
BENKOU BENKOU,if tts all u spell it..haha STUDY TIME!!I really hope im able 2 pass..I had a nightmare where my principle's words came,"If ure not gonna pass and give in ur best,im afraid there'll be no place for u here.."I woke up in a sudden shock and i cldnt sleep ok.
And Im hoping not 2 disapoint my math teacher..I know I havent been askin her questions lately,and shes worried,but,this time round,I could get a grasp of the lessons.Its just up 2 me,2 revise and practice..
I hope tt I'll still be inspired and motivated 2 go through this last lap.
GAMBARE MIN-CHAN!!YOSH!>.<

Woo

2007-09-05T21:22:00.000+08:00

Hohoho havent been updating anything at all..Didnt have time..
soo here I am now..
just got back from my trip 2 Kampong Lonek,Negeri Sembilan!
Man the trip rocked..The ppl there were like extremely nice..They were happy,we were happy,everyone was happy!hahahaha okok i'll write more 2morow with pics and details haha.
Oyesemii...

2007-08-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

A fight,yet again.I just think that when we fought,it was just so stupid.It got the better of me for these few days.But then I thought.I shouldnt think so much about it in school.So,I kinda felt better and decided to reply 2 her email.
I dont really know what her reaction will be but Im sure she'll start the crap,so defensive all tt stuff..wadever..I just dont know how life will be each day.
Now I feel kinda sick..gaah im always feelin sick!soo sickening.gaaaah

2007-08-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

Ahh time flies so damn f'ing fast.Its already August...Man hvin tt feeling again.I cant really explain it but hmm.Maybe mellowed the word now.And when time's like this come by,my music changes.Its back to RJA's acoustic song.(or otherwise known as your guardian angel)
Now Im trying 2 catch up from where I left off.Im not gonna give up easily anymore.I cant.I know i can do it.Its just that I need practics and I do things at my own pace.=_="...
As for things at home,my mum went 2 the hospital and is staying there until shes well again.I spent my weekend at home alone and today's the last day!haha ofcourse my other sisters came 2 visit 2 check on me.sooo yeaa..
ok my hands are itching for a blogskin change.=D

2007-07-18T19:26:00.000+08:00

Slowing down..I am..Its like ok,Im like tryin really really hard 2 study but then..I dont really end up studying tt well..sometimes I just feel so useless..But in the end,its all my fault cos at a certain point of time,I just shut myself off.
Today I really laughed my ass off thanks 2 my best buddies!haha u guys rock,no doubt,only u guys can "chase" away the miserable me and welcome the wild side!hahhahaha!friday will be a reunion,that is if a number of us went.It will be such a great time if everyone went..It'LL BE MADNESS!!laughin our asses off!haha..and I hope tt we WILL be able 2 get in..If anything goes wrong..IM gonna find Dian and kick her ass!!hahaha relax..Lets just hope fer the better!!woooo!

Its wrong,I know it,yet I still follow this feeling..

2007-07-12T17:54:00.000+08:00

You know,after that breakdown,I really felt better..
grrr i cannot take it anymore.Im like liking everyone la.
but she was one of those ppl whom i cant help but notice since the 1st day of school.yes there were a few one of them was expired milk..nyaahaha.okok soo like wadever..then like until now im like staring at her more la wenever i see her.GAWSH!then like a few times she caught me i think and she jus smiled..eee cutee!!but yea i know,nt my type..its like,im outta her league?hahaha.maybe she knows i dunnoe la!maybe its just me!haha but 2day i was late and i saw her and she was like lookin at me smiling soo i smiled back and blablabla then i tried 2 get away from her as far as i can!haha.maybe i'll bw late again soo i can see her!ahhhh im goin maddd!!!!
OH YEA yesterday's exchange students were hot and cute k.particularly the girls of the saxaphone section!haha but i liked 1 of em,well most of the guys did!OMG IM SOO GAY!hahahaha
yeaaa u go Corpus Christi College!hope 2 see ya guys again mates!

2007-07-10T19:56:00.000+08:00

SHITT i cant take it anymore ok.Im just soo damn frustrated ok.BINGIT BINGIT!!!
come home and the massacre starts.I just cant seem 2 keep her quiet.Nobody in the house can.And she keeps medling with my stuff and at last she manages 2 find the phone like wtf.
and smtimes shes jus 2 busy talkin 2 herself tt wen she meddles with my stuff she forgets 2 do em.its like shit la i literally screamed at her 2day when i got home.for at least half an hour i screamed at her tellin her 2 shut up and stop screaming cos she jus wont listen wen i talk nicely.Ireally dunnoe wad got into me..i mean im was just soo frustrated and i started screaming and lettin it all out..I totally broke down.i locked myself in the rm and like started 2 let it go..I needed smone 2 talk 2..jus smone who wld listen..
i did call smone and u saved me by just listenin..i mean if i jus don let it out,it'll be inside me and i'll be like wtf.
GAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHH!!!

2007-07-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

Its already 12.15!haha live earth,answer the call ya'll!
i hv class 2morow and im still watchin.wtf.shakira's performing now and shes HHAAWWWTTT.haha okok see currently i dunnoe wad 2 sayy soo pppppooooffffff

2007-07-03T20:51:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel this way?
Why is it now?
Why am I following my feelings too much?Its bad I know..
But somehow,Im starting to feel weak.Like theres some alter-ego taking over me.Sometimes I feel that alot of things are running in my mind.But actually it started of with only one small thing that I'm not really able to overcome now.
Words,they are just empty words.I'm not living up to them.When a sudden motivation comes,I start to speak of those words.But when everything just gets so hard,those empty words get the better of me.
Yes,when you see me at times,I appear to be cheerful and stuff.But deep deep deep inside,I started to feel like I was trying to force myself through thorns.
I just don't know what to do.I certainly don't feel like talking to anyone about it.
At certain times,I would just break down and start to cry.Why must that happen?Cry cry cry,whats the use?
But it does help.Rather then I start what I have stop doing.The promises that I have made to the different people,its starting to wear off.Soon,it won't work and maybe I'll just start again.
Now,when this unexplainable feeling comes,I try to draw!ok now comes my crazy part on anime!well yuri anime to be precise.But I do not consider yuri to be hentai at all.Its dramatic at some parts la but wth.
I just finished watching strawberry panic!haha kawaii neh!

another day 2morow,will it be ok?

2007-06-30T21:47:00.000+08:00

AHHH...the weekends!hahaha school sux,as per normal.but with smthing extra,a promise i made 2 myself...well im nt gonna talk bout tt now..
IM HOOKED 2 YURI ANIME!hahaha!HEY Yuri is NOT hentai!its more of romance and drama kinda anime..ive currently watched Kannazuki No Miko and Maria Sama Ga Miteru..And im hooked 2 Maria Sama Ga Miteru!!!hahaha im done with season 1 and 2 but as for season 3 i only manged 2 view 4 episodes!GAAAAHHHH!!!Yumi-chan kawaii neh!!haha and her 'soer',Sachiko-sama..
I must say,the stories quite dramatic but somehow it inspired me??hahaha
Theres change goin on..And the changes happened cos they had each other..
oh well im gonna keep findin season 3 eps!!aggggghhhhh!!!!!

2007-06-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

GAWWWWDDD!!!GAAAAAAH!!
SCHOOL REOPENING SUCKED!
Wel nt big time but yea..it kinda sucked u noe.When it comes 2 work..I did really badly la!see la!!waliao!!!im trying 2 work harder now but will i ever make it??!!!!!gaaaaah!
And now im like feeling like ppl are getting kinda biased and stuff.But fuck it i dont give a shit!
Ah...nth but Corrine May 2 soothe my mood..Her voice is deep and strong yet soo elegant,soothing..
AH her voice is damn SEXAY man!haha cannot take it!ooo
damn nt the tagbox again...

2007-06-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

OOOO 2DAYS FRIDAY!!!AHHHH!!!
2 more days 2 skool reopen OUK!haha bring it on bring it on all or nth.
Well shit my mum's like "sick" again.I hope it like dosent affect me in sm way again..I'll just try and work harder and and like nt think so much of it.Work hard and be happy and voila?
DAMN.haha i dunnoe la now i dont feel soo down.Im nt feeling so good though.Yesterday I was hvin abit of a fever.Subsidised 2day..lucky..
And Im still nt doin my FnN project!I mean i did abit and i still need 2 go on but im nt..DAMN YA'LL.hahaha okook i hv 1 of my camp photos,courtesy of Ms LALALAWHEE!!haha ok its nt the pic of me still dangling on the flying fox with the harnest shaping my ass.This was actually during the rope elements..

Me and my grey "hip-hop" pants..and open mouth=p
Together with the forces of;Ah Maine!,SHAKEmeganSHAKE,Sheena,instructor Johanna.Not forgetting Ms LALALAWHEE!who took this NICE pic and Ms Charmsham sitting by the side,makin the pic more nicer=p.

2007-06-20T15:48:00.000+08:00

Imin a really really really really bad mood now.i dont feel like talkin at all k.
all i wanna do now is lock myself in the room.I think my mum's gonna be sick again.Smthing is seriously fucking wrong.
She suddenly started talkin bout me going out and doing wrong things,stealing playing arnd!LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.IM DAMNED PISSED NOW K.I mean its like fucking shit la!I really cannot take it.How can she like compare me and the other teens 2 me?Its really fucking shit.I was damned pissed soo i screamed at her.Didint mean to but yea she really made me damned pissed.
Why do gd things happen b4 the bad does?
Schools opening soon and my specs got washed away.and i cant really see.gawd damnit.And im nt really sayin anything 2 anyone like i wanna make new glasses cos tt will maybe piss everybody off.Probably cos of the money yea.Soo i'll jus suffer.Hey at least i can still see.There are other ppl less fortunate..
AHHHH FUCK IT LA!!I CANNOT TAKE IT IM DAMN FUCKING PISSED

2007-06-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

OK i kinda need 2 get this off soo it'll help me feel better??hahaha
You noe tt day wen i went out,tt one day,it was a mistake.It was a mistake because now,tt feelin I got over bout er,smone la.I mean its just wrong!
I took it tt it was jus a crush.Soo i kinda got over it.
Then just cos of tt one,just one fun fun day alone with her made me think.
FCUK MAN!Y does it always be like this..I really gotta stop liking smone easily.
AHH am i in the same situation as expired milk?gawwdd...YASMIN!!SCHAOOL'S REOPENIN SOON!WAKE UP!!!!
haha okok i think tts bout it.Now my stomach dosent feel so weird anymore=)
Im writing this,cos I need 2 get it out and tt she will never find my blog!muahahaha!
If u do,SHHHHHHSHSHH.i dunnoe y but yea hahas

2007-06-17T13:08:00.000+08:00

Time flies..school's gonna reopen soon..
Im gonna need 2 change my ways.But I currently am nt..Can I?
I've made up my mind,I cant go back 2 me old ways.
I need 2 be strong.
Im like using things tt make me happy to push me on.If they really make me happy for some reason,surely those things can push me on more.
Im feelin miserable now,I dont know why.Man..I really need 2 get out if this.
I need 2 be happy!ugh..maybe nt now..nt feelin soo gd..later...
+bleagh+

2007-06-14T10:58:00.000+08:00

LALALAWHEEEE!hahaha yesterday was fun!
Im soo selfish,can I hv another day with u again??hehehe.
hope i can.
MAN,this parent control thing is really bonkers ok.i cant even check my blogs!!goodness me..soo yea i cant see my own blogs and my friendster=)
i needddd a run.

2007-06-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

damn..i really needa work hard fer band..
maybe the vids i watched were motivational..
vids from the Aichi Meiden High School Symphonic Band!
they're good..and they got sm cute girls too!haha sexay!really i think they are.
man ok i gues im gonna strt workin hard?
ahhhhhhhh

2007-06-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

Oh.I cant believe it,Im buzzing.Im actually tryna practice..wow..But issit gonna make it any better?i guess nt.gosh..
it sux wen u join smthing jus 2 see sm ppl.well i joined nt totally cos i wanted 2 check out sm ppl k.
well one of them was a trumpeteer.the other is smone in the same section as me.and the one i likeD was from french horn.GAWD!
U know,I really cant believe myself for ever liking these ppl.
haha well for now,with my really loose glasses,im just a geek i guess.
haha well i dont care wad the fuck ppl think of me.grr excuse me,pms..

2007-06-05T21:13:00.000+08:00

GAWWWDD 2day was the suckiest day of my life!!y does band practice always hv 2 ruin me??
I suck im bad at side reading and i cant pitch properly and i got the SL frustrated.Hey,u think im nt?I mean im trying my best.I just got changed and i do nt hv any musical background and i do not dig symphonic stuff!y in the world did i join.i wanna quit but since theres tt nt givin up attitude in me,i cant bring myself to.i jus wanna keep on tryin but wen i do,it gets so hard and there comes my emotional breakdown..haha
ahh gtg

2007-06-04T17:34:00.000+08:00

OOOOOOO.HAHA went 2 Academy @ Sunrice 2day!!nice nice..overall the activities were pretty good.i really loved the chicken.CHICKEN!!!!!AHHHHHH.
I hope maybe i cld like go there or smthing oneday=)
wtf parental control on the com.nice one.can i still watch l word?well maybe not.or maybe they found the hentai pages.hey tt wasnt on purpose or wadever.just lke curious,anyway its like from 1 link 2 another.gawd.
and is l word bad.if its thinkin its an influence 2 my life,well just wanna let u noe,i do nt get easily influenced.and its nt cos shows and stuff if ure thinkin of wad u fond out bout me.GAWD y cant just ppl like understand...
negative things just come into everybody's head nowadays.
well i just like the l word.i mean its drama,just like ppl watchin things like sitcoms and stuff.
well 2 me its just like watchin shows like Malcom in the middle and such.i mean tv show!!RIIINNGG any bell??
its just tt the L word potrays lesbianism.and yea they hv some nudity make out scenes and such.but hey,i don not watch cos of tt.i mean yea sm ppl do but i watch it cos its just like how i get hook by tv shows.
i mean how do u feel when u watch a tv show?u just want more,find out more,am i correct??tt may not be the only reason but yea..
just like my sister who got hooked 2 korean dramas!hey,tts how i feel!if u noe..
SOOO if ure happening 2 be reading this,its nt a case of any erotic love makin scenes or anything ok!!!!!ok im kinda pissed..=D
i mean ppl get hooked 2 things like korean dramas!its just tt korean dramas and such dont hv things like nudity,vulgarity and love makin scenes!!!!UGGGGHHHH!!there!and tts nt the end of me!!!!!ahahahaha

P.s,if any of u who'r readin this and feel offended,lemme noe;)

2007-06-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

BORED BORED BOREDOM.i really need a run!haha
mondays cmin!!!lets get things COOKINN...hehe
well im gonna start another blog;fartsy poetsy stuff.haha
i jus hv inspirations smtimes..soo yea u'll get 2 see the fartsy poetsy side of me there..=)

2007-05-31T15:13:00.000+08:00

Why am I nt goin out?
No $$?
I dont think so.I still hv my ezlink.
Maybe 2 shut everyone up and tt way I wont get myself in trouble?
Im feeling soo damn fuffing pathetic.Now,I'd rather stay at home.
Im nt even goin out with my family.Not tt i dont want to.I dont feel like goin out.
Why am I feeling so pathetic?
I feel so LOW.
Somebody,anybody,take me smwhere,anywhere.Just so I dont feel so,LOW.

OH YAY MONDAY!I CANT WAIT FOR MONDAY!!!
will it turn out fine?
i hope it will nyahahahahaha
gosh i really feel soo damn pathetic.

2007-05-29T14:31:00.000+08:00

Feeling soo bored now...feel like goin out,but i jus cant,nt after wad happened..well i will go out,soon..jus nt sure where to go,wad 2 do and with who...
haha yesterday was another project for me,i cooked for my friends!haha it was nt actually jus sm spicy pasta..but i dunnoe whether its nice or nt..i dunnoe if ppl were lying 2 me and said it was..hahaha.
haha yesterday b4 i went for my bbq,met llod aneehc and the same thing happened.I passed her pasta and we were like ok..then i sit down there like what the fook.i really really really dunnoe wad 2 say 2 her u noe..just sat down there and stared back at my reflection and hers?hahaha.
but i felt really pathetic cos like she sat there with me and when i took the train,she went hm too.When i was inside the train i was like,SHIT!shldve like gone for a walk or T-A-L-K 2 her!well too late..
And now im like,ok i aint never gonna go out with her no more.
But on 2nd thought,maybe its only been like 2-3 times we went out?
i really feel weird cos im like nt used 2 this kinda thing,like goin out with a person and we dont talk much and stuff..its just soo,Q-U-I-E-T.im 2 wild 2 get use 2 quietness.That was the first time i went out on a "quiet outing"..soo basicly,im paranoid.hehehe.but maybe its my fault 2 for nt starting a conversation or something.
hahaha im sooo soooorryyyy for being sooo damn fucking paranoiiddd.i need a run.

2007-05-26T18:10:00.000+08:00

HAHA wasted my time cmin for family day cum sports day 2day.nt for school.
and maybe i wasted my time yesterday too..but heck i got 2 watch pirates!haha Keira Knightly..but i got into trouble.wadever..
u noe yesterday,i felt weird.I felt like im goin out with a total stranger and the whole thing was boring cos we didnt talk much.Maybe its cos i dont always go out with her and therefore we dont hv much 2 talk about?well i dunnoe..
well if we do go out again and stuff,maybe i wldnt be as boring as i wld be..man ive got 2 get rid of this habit of accompanying ppl whenever they needed 2 go out..y did i even agree 2 go out anyways??! gosh.
anyway gonna start a so called band with Nis!haha and ive asked cheena doll if she wanted 2 join..well she saved us the trouble from cracking our heads!hehehe ok well i hope i can brush up on my drumming man!!

2007-05-24T20:08:00.000+08:00

HAIZ..Results 2day..i scored well 4 languages and literature but i got a U for the rst of the subs!WTF.From now,im really gonna try and change.
AH PFFS can i ever f***ing change myself??its just words.actions speak louder than words.I REALLY REALLY DAMN HELL WANNA F***ING CHANGE MYSELF!!i dunnoe y i find it soo hard..
Well i guess the camp really made me think this deep.My thinkings hv really been deep,nt like the usual i wanna give up,y? kinda thing.i regret,i really regret for my way of thinking.
but really,now,CAN I REALLY CHANGE MYSELF??
tts the big question..

2007-05-23T17:23:00.000+08:00

YASMIN!URGH!!k elearning=soo NOT doin..i did some only and i havent started on math and sci.and ive yet 2 finish my MT.and do i really need 2 do the subs tt we're nt takin next term??gawd.i am soo damn dead.
SEE,can i EVER f***ing change my life??im suppose 2 change,i promised myself and now ive broken my promise...2 myself!wads worst?i caught me lying 2 myself..haha ok tt was from a song.
urgh damn fed up la.id rather go 2 skool rite now and get out.
URRGGHHH

2007-05-22T13:48:00.000+08:00

GAWD!!ELEARNING SUX 2 THE CORE!2 THE MAX!FISH MAN!
especially maths ok instructions say go 2 sec 3 maths and study smthing there.but under my subjects theres no mathematics sec 3 or wadever!how 2 study?go sec 2 maths oso don hv.and now i dunnoe how 2 do my assignments.gosh y mus it always be maths.forget it,i'll nt be doin it.

2007-05-21T11:18:00.000+08:00

MAN.I feel like goin 2 camp again.haha.soo fun.Now,for the next 3 days,we're like doin this online school thingy where we learn online and do tons of work.bwahahaha.now im like doin my malay blog and i like dunnoe wad 2 write.but my attitude is a lil bit diff now.im gonna do all my work=)hehe
and now im stuck and obssessed with the new maroon 5 song.write more later..
oh and kak Shaz,u saw my blog page and i see tt u forgot 2 leave me a tag..hmm..hahahas

2007-05-18T13:19:00.000+08:00

WOOHOOHOO!IM HOME!!YAY!!Camp was cool i guess.Its like a survival camp but not like boot camp.err ok nvm.anyways i had fun.I hiked Bt Timah hill again!haha but this time we went 2 a different route.I walked behind and ppl like thought smthing is wrong but i just purposely walked behind.Maybe cos i wanna get away from smone who just keeps asking certain things eventhough its been said clearly..haha.Our instructor was okla.But smtimes i feel like we are bullying her cos like she keep on trying 2 talk and nobody wld listen tt kinda thing..MAN too bad didnt take pics.I brought cam but didnt take,cos like my batts flat and the guy at 7-11 gave me a AA batt instead of AAA.ahh well the memories wld still be inside me.
After this camp,i feel like theres something inside me tt has changed.Like a certain part of my mindset is changed.Like i've been trying 2 find tt ME inside but i jus cldnt find it.I feel like ive changed in a sense tt i am able to put the negative thoughts away from me.But like ppl say;no use talking if u dont do the actions.Im just nt sure if i can like use these things tt i feel wen the next term starts.haiz..tired..
anyways i'll remember wad my instructor told me and conquer one of my negative points..=D

2007-05-14T18:49:00.000+08:00

WOW.2morow's camp!haha.i dunnoe whether 2 feel excited or wad la.Now im like worrying.haha a girl will always be a girl.im hvin my period and im like wondering how many shorts i hv.im worrying bout clothes mostly.haha well im gonna pack now..

2007-05-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

UGH.wth is happening in here??
well currently,i dont know what im feeling.im just apathetic.or maybe its the the rush of hormones in my body.muahahaha.1 more day 2 camp..im gonna start packing 2morow.nyahaha
nites..

2007-05-12T23:40:00.000+08:00